Messy Abandonment


So much has changed in my life in the past few years. Both where and how I live is so unrecognizable today from what it used to be just a short time ago.

My transformed life has not been about chasing dreams, selfish desires, or who I think I should be.

My life has been transformed by Christ, following Him with messy abandonment.

Did I mention it’s messy?

I used to fuss and hustle to fit into an ever-changing mold of other people’s expectations.

I was miserable, exhausted, and felt a heaviness over my life that I couldn’t shake off.

Then, God’s tender Spirit gently placed this verse into my weary mind:

30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. ~Matthew 11:30

It was as if something inside of me clicked.

The fog from failed conformity was gone. What was left was grace, unconditional love, and a sharp question from God:

“Are you pursuing me or someone’s opinion?”  


Yeah. It was a much needed wakeup call.

Some believed I was making a mistake by switching my focus to other ministry opportunities and deciding to drastically simplify my life.

What I’ve learned through this experience is this: What God has planned for one person may not necessarily be what He has planned for someone else. That’s a good thing!

For me, I desperately needed to abandon everything I wanted out of life, to spiritually grow in areas where God was doing something new.

Once I started focusing solely on God, He began digging out a yearning to write that I’d forgotten was there.

Now I sit at my laptop everyday and eagerly wait for Him to stir up memories and deposit new morsels of wisdom and encouragement.

And I’m happier than I’ve ever been.


Following Jesus may often be hard, messy, and unpopular, but there’s also an internal freedom in fully surrendering my life to Him that far outweighs any momentary discomfort.

Spiritual growth will always involve abandonment of who we used to be, while taking one step closer to who Jesus is calling us to be.

So, my friends, let’s allow Jesus to, little by little, cut the seams in which we have entangled ourselves and begin to turn our knots and frayed edges into a piece of art to use as a testimony of His goodness and love.

Do you have the courage to follow Christ with messy abandonment?

 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ~Jeremiah 29:11


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